“You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!”
Throughout my childhood — and still sometimes today — whenever I was having a bout of insecurity, I was told, “you’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” To whomever I was explaining my feelings, whether it was my best friend, my mother, or my therapist, they always used that phrase as a mechanism of encouragement. It isn’t common knowledge that this phrase was born from microaggressions and misunderstanding. Even though they meant it in kindness, what they were saying is that I could not be both fat and beautiful at the same time, and I was definitely fat, so they must’ve been lying about my beauty.
Fatphobia and fat-shaming are immense societal issues. As the human race, we have strived to make a difference, to make the world a more inclusive space for everyone, but still, fatphobia continues to grow. Even body positivity isn’t perfectly positive. People like to say that they’re body positive until the body is too big, or not up to par with beauty standards. Have you ever noticed how most ‘plus-sized’ models are still thin? The term ‘plus-sized’ in of itself is problematic, because it still indicates a distinction that does not need to be made. A model is a model regardless of body type — weight should not affect how we perceive beauty.
The idea for this article was sparked when I overheard a conversation held by a few girls in one of my classes. They were saying that they don’t believe clothing brands should make plus-sized clothes, which only makes me wonder if I am supposed to come to school naked. That would certainly be a violation of the dress code. I need clothes just as much as the next person, and I already struggle plenty trying to find things to wear. When I went prom dress shopping, I was very disappointed to see that nothing on the many racks was made for my body type. There were hundreds, if not thousands, of dresses before me, but my selection was made up of the same couple of styles of old-ladyish dresses in either black or blue. I went to six different stores, it took weeks of searching to find something. Still, when I found something, it was neither the color nor style that I wanted, but I had to buy it because it fit me. It is a miracle in itself that at least one dress had fit me. Had I not bought it, I can think confidently that I wouldn’t have found an alternative.
Fatphobia is the irrational fear and discrimination against overweight people. Fatphobia presents itself in numerous ways, whether it’s small, weight-based comments or blatant bullying and discrimination.
While fatphobia makes its way into the lives of many, it primarily affects women. Through body shaming and beauty standards, fatphobia is highly prevalent in society. Women are ‘meant to be’ thin and dainty to be beautiful. When one sees a big woman, they instantly begin thinking that said woman does not take care of herself, she is lazy and unhealthy, she is ugly and undeserving of love and positive attention. When one sees a big man, they associate size with masculinity and dominance. They just need to keep working out to burn the fat off, and they will soon become a sexy, bulky man — but god forbid a woman be the largest person in a room.
According to The Guardian, “Numerous factors — from our inequitable food environment to economic injustice to stress to trauma to common health conditions and medications – dictate our size, and a combination of these have contributed to an uptick in fatness in both the US and the UK, among other countries, in recent decades.” Despite standing research to prove otherwise, fatness is still perceived as a choice; all large-bodied people made themselves that way and are begging for pity. Fat people are not lazy, they are not neglecting their health, and they are not begging for attention; they just want to be seen the same as everyone else. Even when they try to take care of themselves, they are just met with the same lousy suggestions.
“Just lose some weight!”
Even at the gym, the place where everyone goes to achieve healthy bodies — many to lose weight — fat people are met with bullying and harassment.
In a world where we work so hard to promote positive change, why is it still not an inclusive place for fat people?
Childhood as a fat person was harsh, too, because while everyone was making friends and having fun, I was being picked on. People would ask to be my friend and even ask me out romantically, but it always ended up being a joke to them.
“I dare you to ask out the fat kid!”
The bullying that I experienced began my toxic relationship with diet culture. Diet culture is a pervasive social system that equates thinness with health and social and moral value. Diet culture perpetuates the idea that being fat is automatically bad and that everyone needs to be thin. When I was young and moldable, I believed that my body was not worthy, that it was wrong. Maybe if I were thinner, he would like me. Maybe if I were thinner, I would have real friends. I was led to believe that there was such a thing as a ‘wrong body,’ but there are no wrong bodies. A healthy body looks different on everyone. People’s bodies look the way they do for a variety of reasons. Diet culture fuels fatphobia by reinforcing negative stereotypes about fat people, such as being lazy, unhealthy, or lacking self-control.
Fatphobia plays a lead role in the healthcare industry. According to Within Health, “more than half of women living in larger bodies have reported experiencing medical fatphobia from healthcare professionals, including inappropriate weight-related comments, with their weight being a barrier to receiving treatment.” Weight bias manifests in many ways, the most common being ignored symptoms. When a fat person presents symptoms of a health condition and expresses concerns to a healthcare professional, their symptoms are brushed off. They’re often told that diet and exercise are the only solutions. When measuring health, typically medical professionals use the Body Mass Index scale, or BMI, to determine if individuals fall in the healthy weight category. This scale was created in the mid-19th century; however, with medical advancements and research, the American Medical Association is moving away from strictly relying on the BMI scale to assess obesity and health.
“Just lose some weight!”
The consequences of medical fatphobia are very severe. Research shows that people living in large bodies are less likely to be screened for certain cancers and thus are more likely to die from them because they’re refused treatment. Physical health isn’t the only problem, fat people are often denied necessary, life-saving psychiatric care as well. Common mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety, are excused because of the association of being fat with living a poor lifestyle. Fat people wouldn’t be depressed if they just followed directions.
“You should exercise more!”
Body standards are ever-evolving. With the blink of an eye society switches between preferring large bodies, small bodies, thin bodies, tall bodies, short bodies, wide bodies, big thighs with a slim waste, big boobs but no belly. There are so many unrealistic body standards expressed throughout history, and they are impossible to ignore, but understand that they are only a social construct. They are just another box for us to be pushed into. They exist solely to please the people that live inside said bodies, to make them feel better about themselves. Being fat was once associated with wealth, but now it means that you’re too poor to afford good food. Being thin meant you were unhealthy and weak; now it is associated with physical fitness. There is a zero percent chance that one’s body is good enough for the next person, so you must appreciate it for what it gives you. Everyone is alive and beautiful, and all of our bodies are worthy of love. You do not need to “just lose some weight.”
You can be fat and beautiful.
Learn More:
https://therepproject.org/fat-activism-information-resources/
https://seaemdr.com/antifat-bias-resources
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9540781/
https://www.obesityaction.org/action-center/weight-bias-issues/bullying/
